Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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Tremble! (1 reply)

Candice
2 years ago
Candice 2 years ago

Fear in me, trembles like the breezy trees

Don't let go of me, holding tight onto the branch

Let the trace of fright go by, clouds that darken the sky

Deepens the desire to be alive, rooted in the hope I lie!

Candice M

Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

Candice, this is indeed a powerful poem and, although it is four lines, not two, still manages to capture the essence of what I was asking for - a short poem, using imagery, that describes a feeling.  I hope you'll forgive a couple of suggestions but, the poem is good - and, I think, could be better so, here's what I would suggest:  Take out your commas - you don't want us stopping as we read this poem, you want us to move through it, perhaps to the rhythm of the wind/breeze.  The trees themselves are not breezy - the breeze moves through the trees - so perhaps, it is "Fear in me trembles like the breeze (taunting - disturbing - ruffling - abusing?) the trees.  Is it "I" hold tight to the branch?  If you go with the word "clouds" than "deepens" becomes "deepen."  I love your ending though, to be perfectly honest, it confuses me a little bit - still, I like it very much and, I like your end rhyme - which works.  I do believe you have talent and hope you will take these suggestions as just that - suggestions.  The poem is yours and must be yours when it is finished.  I thank you so much for sharing your work with me and remain, your friend in poetry, Susan

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