And yet again, I fell in Love with these Lonely Nights, The cool breeze patted my back, As it knew my heart was cracked; The vast sky was the only one who saw my tears, And how strong I had stood against my fears The stars came down To surround me with their bright light And I forgot all my fright, Their hands they extend; And I became one of them.
I want to thank you for sharing your poem. I believe you have some fine moments in the poem but, would suggest that you let the image (not the rhyme) take the reader where you want them to go. For example: “The stars came down/surrounding me in light/and I forgot my fear” is a more poetic way of saying what your poem intends. It takes us to the place you want us to be, surrounded by light so bright, it makes us forget to be afraid. If prose is an open hand, than poetry is a closed fist – tighter and more emotionally charged. Keep on writing, I believe you have the passion for it. – Susan
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