My Broken heart about YOU – Poet Lady Katz

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June 2, 2021 at 5:46 am #17836

Karthika
Participant

Baby you’re my weakness,

But I know that you’re careless

Every nights you appear on my dreams,

I just always thinking of our scenes.

I dunno what’s the end for this story,

But my mind still thinking that you care me.

Baby..i need me,the old me,that care me

Oh my baby,

leave me or stand with me,

kill me or live with me,

burn me or grow with me.

Tell me what you feel or kill me by your hate.

Dunno what to say, but don’t put plasters to your feelings.

Don’t wear silence,just show me the truth,

Say Onto my face, or go away that’s our end.

– karthika

June 2, 2021 at 10:39 am #18458

Susan Katz
Keymaster

Thank you for sharing your very dramatic and heart-felt poem with me. I can feel the need and the pain and longing that you describe in your poem. I can feel “you” in your poem and that is, truly, the beginning of good poetry. I do believe you need to check your English tenses on many of your words and also, meanings of many words, as well as, I could wish you had depended less on rhyme and more on images (metaphors and similes.) The poem’s message is powerful and I am happy to add it the many poems I’ve received and am considering for Featured Poem of the Month for July. – Susan
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