Thank you so much for submitting this very deep, very dark, and very intriguing poem. It does not fit the two-line, imagery inspired poem about feelings, that was this week’s submission request. I find some of your lines”wonderfully disturbing” but would have liked to have seen “less telling – more showing” through the use of imagery. What is an image for “darkness” for “death” and for the “outside light?” There are so many places in this poem where, just by tightening the wording, and using imagery (a metaphor or simile) you could elevate the poem and engage the reader profoundly. If you do rewrite, I will be happy to look at it again. I am grateful for your interest in poetladykatz and remain, your friend in poetry, Susan
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