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  • #17963
    nikinj
    Participant

    Joy is riding an orange scooter on an unknown road under the blazing sun to reach the known destination by the moonlight.

     

     

    #18607
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing this delightful little poem.  I think, if I were you, I might turn this into a three line poem, just so that you might play with line break.  “Joy is riding an orange scooter on an unknown/ road under the blazing sun to reach the known/ destination (by) the moonlight.”  I’m not sure “by” is the right word.  We can sit or ride “under” the moonlight, “surrounded” by moonlight, “touched” by moonlight “lit” by moonlight – but I have a hard time understanding the concept of “”by the moonlight.”  In any event, well done.  I will consider your poem for featuring on my Instagram page in the next couple of weeks.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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