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  • October 18, 2021 at 5:11 am #17999
    Candice
    Participant

    Dreams within hoping to be true

    Reaching the skies so blue

    The reason for this

    Is the secret of bliss.

    To fly so high flapping my wings

    Into the deep sinking sea

    I recall how I rose up

    Amidst all the barriers

    And trials immense.

    All I wanted and ought to be,

    Surprising it turned out to be.

    Nothing but my destiny.

     

    The journey was too long

    Carried on my shoulders strong

    Exhausted till I dropped,

    Dissatisfaction maybe

    Each time I persevere

    With dedication and sincerity.

    I get to know it’s incomplete

    And room for improvement.

    All I needed is guidance

    For what was right and just.

    That’s the motivation

    That carved my destiny.

    October 18, 2021 at 3:54 pm #18666
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you Candice for sending again.  I think this work well.  I wonder if you have ever thought about “line break.”  For example – instead of having your rhymes come at the end of each line – how about trying this…

    Dreams within hoping

    to be true reaching the skies

    so blue      the reason

    for this is the secret

    of bliss.

    I do think this helps make the poem more intriguing and invites the reader to move from line to line.  It’s something to think about.  Once again, thank you so much for being a part of Poet Lady Katz.  Have a wonderful rest of your day, Susan

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