Home › Forums › Poetry Talk › I RUN YOU RUN , I WALK YOU WALK , I STOP YOU STOP

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  • November 3, 2021 at 11:22 am #18002
    astha
    Participant

    Sometimes you’re ahead of me ,

    Sometimes just behind my back.

    You are a giant sometimes

    Another a time , a tiny tot.

     

    Oh! When I run , you run

     I stop you stop , 

    When I walk , you walk.

     I feel as if you’re a copy cat.

     

    Oh my Shadow!!

    What don’t you do 

    Just to Be with me

    Sometimes this , sometimes that

    a colourless life you lead.

     

    No matter how hard I try to be ,

    But can never be as selfless as you.

    Hey my lovely Shadow!

    I really adore you.

    (SHADOW / POETRY WITH ASTHA) 

    November 3, 2021 at 12:50 pm #18669
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    What a lovely idea to bring your “shadow” to life and give it real and meaningful qualities.  May I make a couple off suggestions as pertains to English grammar. 

    “Sometimes you’re forward to me” should be, “sometimes you’re ahead of me…” and

    “What not you do” should be “what don’t you do…”

    I am very happy to consider your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  If it is chosen, I would request that the corrections to the grammar be applied to the poem.

    Thank you so much for submitting your work and thank you for being a fellow poet,

    Susan

    November 4, 2021 at 6:55 am #18670
    astha
    Participant

    Sure Susan , you are free to correct the mistakes. Thank you ! For appreciating my poem as well as pointing the errors. I am grateful to you 🙂

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