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  • November 5, 2021 at 3:55 pm #18010
    therelatingfeel
    Participant

    DO YOU REMEMBER THE OLD YOU 

    WHEN YOUR PARENTS WOULD COMPARE YOU

     

    WITH FRIENDS AROUND OR NEIGHBOURS NEAR BY 

    AND MOST OFTEN TO THE RELATIVES FAR OFF 

     

    WHAT YOU USED TO FEEL AT THAT TIME 

    DOES THAT NEVER MADE YOU UPSET

     

     MANY TIMES IT DID MADE YOU SAD AND YOU GOT ANGRY TOO

    OFTEN GOT FRUSTRATED AND FELT WHY ARE YOU NOT UPTO THE MARK TOO

     

    THE RESULTS MADE ME FEEL LITTLE DAZZLE

    BUT LET ME TELL YOU THE REAL HUSTLE

    COMPARING YOURSELF WITH THE GOOD YOU 

    TO THE TODAY BETTER YOU

    IS WHAT ALL YOU NEED ENOUGH FOCUS

     

    TAKING INSPIRATION FROM THE OTHERS WORK IS OKAY

    USING IT AS A MOTIVATION IS FINE 

    BUT COMPARING YOUR WORK AND ART AND FEELING BAD THAy ARE BETTER 

    AND DEGRADING YOUR HARDWORK IS NOT A JOKE 

    EVERY ONE IS A STRUGGLER AND NO ONE IS PERFECT!!

    November 6, 2021 at 9:35 am #18684
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing this poem with such a fine message of achieving a sense of self worth and self esteem.  You message is right on, however, I think you need to spend some time working on your lines and trying to craft them into lines of poetry rather than lines that offer a very important message.  Poetry is all about imagery and emotion.  Imagery should spark the emotion.  What is an image for the “good you” for a “struggler” for “inspiration from other’s work?”  Perhaps it would be helpful to read some English poets and see how they offer their messages through poetry.  I do believe the emotion and the honesty that is reflected in your poem.

    I will be considering your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December and, thank you for your interest in https://www.poetladykatz.com  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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