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  • November 6, 2021 at 9:44 am #18018
    Riya Jaiswal
    Participant

    I feel lost in the

    sea of possibilities,

    seeing the wild

    waves crawl upon me,

    as I try to illuminate

    my hollows into depth

    of untouched sparks

    waiting to ignite within.

    I collect the sea shells-

    “What does it even mean?”

    I decode, encrypt & decode.

    Is it love or hope?

    I’ll simply spring, crushing the

    autumn leaves, trespassing

    the road less trodden.

    I make typos and then

    lace them into muses;

    thousand cuts and a 

    teardrop on my ukulele,

    that’s what I’m composed of-

    a million ill spelt

    metaphors and ink.

    November 6, 2021 at 10:06 am #18689
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Very well written poem and, I thank you for submitting it for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  I particularly like your opening few lines, the way you’ve chosen your line breaks and some of the fine images you have used to invite us into your emotional world.  I am, however, wondering about the contradictory imagery – “sea of possibilities”  – to –  “untouched sparks/waiting to ignite…”  Somehow, they seem at odds with one another – and I think your poem would benefit from continuity of imagery.  Expand on your “sea” image and then, move on to your “ignite” image.  I do believe you have talent and I hope you will spend some time doing the work of the poet, and that is, editing.  Writing the poem, is the fun part – editing, is where the true work of the poet comes into play.

    Your friend in poetry, Susan

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