Thank you for sharing this remarkably emotionally intense and personal poem. You have taken us on a journey into your heart, as well as your mind. I was very moved. The one thing I might suggest, is that your poem, to truly capture the essence of poetry, could use some imagery. Instead of telling us everything you want us to know, show us – make us feel – be part of the experience, through imagery. Example: “
I’ve had anticipation for this day
Ever since I could remember
“I have waited on the edge of hope / trembling in the storm
of despair for a torrent of days
that lie heaped in memory.
This is just an “off the top of my head” example and I’m sure you can do much better. What poets need to do is incorporate the five senses, and emotion, into their poems – make us see, hear, taste, touch, and smell your thoughts, your hopes, your fears, your desires and, in your case, your ultimate victory. Do keep on writing – do keep on using poetry as a way to speak your truth – and thank you, so very much, for sharing with me. I am grateful to have had the chance to “get to know you” through your poem. Your friend in poetry, Susan
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