Home Forums Poetry Talk I am not what you think!

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  • #18056
    Tiny glowing star
    Participant

    I am not what you think!

    People are sure on strolls,
    To pass on the critical judgement,
    I am no more than a pursuer,
    Swirling over my lifeless goals!
    I won’t let people to judge me,
    I judge my own self through time,
    Breaking through the walls of nine,
    Clashing around with flashing intrepid efforts!
    What are you souls staring at?
    It’s me who mould my own future,
    Relishing my life of truce as becoming mature,
    Alas! It’s not a story about you judge,
    Dear, I am the heroine of my own story,
    Bestowing the enternal glory!
    Every one are the main characters,
    Of their own respective life too,
    It’s not about what others think,
    It matters how you think about yourself passionately!
    – Swetha

     

    #18750
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you, for once again, sending a heartfelt and self-reflective poem.  I can tell you write from the heart.  Again, there are a number of grammatical/word-usage errors in the poem, that detract from the flow, rhythm, and meaning.  Here are a couple of examples:

    People are sure on strolls,   (This does not translate well – people are “sure” on strolls – simply it could be – People stroll…)

    To pass on the critical judgement, (passing on critical judgement…)

    I won’t let people to judge me, (I won’t let people judge me – the “to” does not belong here)

    Alas! It’s not a story about you judge,  (Alas, it’s not a story “for” you to judge…)

    These are just a few examples and your poem would benefit greatly from checking on tenses and proper usage of words.  I would, however, reinforce the idea that you are passionate, purposeful, and powerful in your pursuance of poetry.  Do keep writing and sharing – I am delighted when I see one of your poems show up in my Chat Room.  Have a happy day, Susan

     

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