Poetry Talk

The endings won’t end you (“endings won’t end you”  I would leave out capitalization and punctuation, as we don’t use those “restrictions” in our thoughts or feelings and this is what this poem is all about.)

set yourself free

with wings unfolded (unfold your wings)

there’s beauty (in)

this time, this place

go wild for a while (really like the way “wild” and “while” work together)

burn out the stars with me

memories were always priceless (were/are priceless – don’t need “always”)

as long as you wanted

I wanted the wanting

we were made of star dust

wandering in this cosmos (the cosmos)

you give me fireflies

unlove me, please

a memory, a star, a stain

let me distract you

all I need is me

I’ll never be that me again (I’d move “again” to the next line)

let me pass through

the blazing fire

I’ll come out as gold (golden)

fight for the fairytale (fight for fairytales)

let me find my wings (find wings)

escape the ordinary

‘rarity’ is rare

you are someone to me

an unreasonable request

call me a nameless person (call me nameless)

let me leave

for my fantasy.  (leave me to my fantasy)

This is a powerful and well written poem.  You understand the drama and flow of poetry and I truly enjoyed reading, and working on, this poem.  Please understand that my suggestions are just that, suggestions.  Feel free to disregard any, or all, that you disagree with.  I thank you for trusting me with your fine work and hope to get to some of your other poems, as time permits.  Your friend in poetry, Susan