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  • January 3, 2023 at 1:40 pm #18122
    Comfort
    Participant

    I’m tired of being on the road

    Lonely as a drifting pedal

    Bound only by the scent I’ve stained on your clothes

    Bound only by the memory you can not relinquish

     

    Please-don’t-say-you-need-me

    You slow my ascendance

     

    And

    If beath by a rope:

    let it not tie you to sad memories

    If beath by a blade:

    Let it not cut wounds that can not be healed

    Instead let it spear away the pain

    If beath by pills:

    Know I dreamt of you in my slumber as I was carried away into heaven’s palace

    January 5, 2023 at 9:31 am #18817
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Sorry for the delay in responding to your submission.  The holidays really mess up schedules!

    Your poem is truly well written and creates a mood and expresses your feelings through some lovely images.  I would suggest that “beath” be replaced by simply saying “by”  “If by a blade…” for example.  I know you are going for a classical touch, but not sure it works with that particular word.

    Really good job – well written – and captures the imagination.  Write on –

    Susan

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