Home Forums Poetry Talk Our last song

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  • #18124
    Riya Jaiswal
    Participant
    that day you called me your home

    only not to care to return abode
     
    we talked of signs
    how soulmates are 
    not found but made
    how fate is not something 
    which is destined to be
    rather it lies in our choices
     
    when we talked of sense
    we lost our mind
    so called it philosophy of life
    drunken on midnight romance 
     
    you were the soundhole
    in our guitar below my strings 
    whenever i played the notes
    calling you my muse
    you proved me wrong 
    as my picks kept falling 
    in your hollow space 
    and you kept forgetting
    what lyric was next
     
    so we decided to end the show
    and get happily friend zoned
     
    but here i am
    humming the old chords
    strumming in your thoughts
    writing about our last song
    whose melody sings 
    along the sunken rhythm of my heart
     
         “you’re still a selenophile
         but I’m no longer your moon”
     
    #18820
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for sharing your poetry with me.  I will respond to each poem, individually.  There are some lovely moments in this poem and, the intensity of your message shines through.  Just a couple of things to consider… in poetry, “less is more” and, simple words seem to work better than “grand” ones.  Having said that, I feel the emotion and I am moved by your words.  – Susan

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