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  • July 14, 2023 at 1:57 pm #18140
    Akanksha
    Participant

    every now and then

    I stare at the blank 

    wondering off somewhere 

    My mind tackling 

    Unknown knots i have there

    Lost in the mids

    Lost in the mists

    The journey i have carried upon

    Saying me something 

     

    i dont know what to write anymore so i expect you to continue this its like i am lost again ,

    Again and again i feel this happening to me like a piece of me is not here the thing which perhaps destined to be with me , my part ,like there’s a void inside ,hollow space swallowing me inside and escape is soon going to close so the desperate eyes are holding till it close.

    July 14, 2023 at 2:47 pm #18853
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for sending me your poem.  I can truly appreciate the feelings your poem expresses and relate to them.  There have been times in my life when words simply would not compose themselves onto the page – no matter how hard I tried.  Over the years, I came to accept this as part of the writing process.  Just like a farmer’s field needs time to rest between harvests, so does the writer’s mind. 

    I think you have expressed your feelings passionately in your poem.  Let me know if you’d like me to go through it and make some suggestions.  But again, thank you for sharing – and thank you, as well, for sharing my passion for poetry.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

     

     

    July 15, 2023 at 1:00 pm #18854
    Akanksha
    Participant

    Thank you for replying me, Iam so grateful you are there to relate, I would truly appreciate your favour of giving suggestions .

    July 20, 2023 at 9:05 am #18855
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    I am just seeing this now as I have been traveling and will, later today, offer suggestions on your work. It is truly my pleasure, as I love "meeting" people – even long distance – who share my love of poetry, and my need to write it.

    July 20, 2023 at 2:04 pm #18856
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Mostly, the problems with the poem have to do with grammar – not feeling and emotion – which is what poetry is all about. Please see my suggestions below…

    every now and then

    I stare at the blank (I stare at the blank page)

    wondering off somewhere (I would take out "somewhere")

    My mind tackling (My mind wrestling with – or something like that -knots)

    Unknown knots i have there (knots that lock away my poetry… or something like that)
    Susan
    Poetry comes to us when it's ready – be patient! Your friend in poetry, Susan

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