Poetry Talk

Thank you so much for sharing your poem with me.  What a very important message you are speaking in your poem.  I know it will resonate with people.  From a poetic point of view, I would have liked to have seen more imagery (metaphor and simile) and less rhyme.  This is more of a well written talk on the hazards of alcohol and it needs to reach people on a more intense level – speaking with the voice of the poet, not the narrator.  I think you can do it – you have a great deal of potential and some fine language choices.  I would suggest you spend some time reading poetry – that’s what I always do when I think I am having a problem with my writing.  Contemporary poets would be a good choice.  (Derek Wolcott – Miller Williams – Sylvia Plath – Louise Gluck – Mary Oliver and many, many more.) Your friend in poetry, Susan