Poetry Talk

You have some very strong, emotional moments in your poem and tell a story of being lost and then, hopefully, finding yourself, finding your way home.  It is a compelling story and one, many of us, can relate to.  Your poem needs some editing – in poetry – less is more.  Find the words that really don’t add anything to the telling of your “story” and take them out, perhaps rewriting the lines  Also, check your grammar, as there are a number of places where the word is in the wrong place or there are some issues that simply confuse rather than enlighten.  I believe you have the beginnings of a poem worth working on, worth bringing into the light and I look forward to reading it again, after you’ve had time to work on it.  I would respectfully suggest you have a look at some of the lessons here on the site.  I think that many of them might help steer you in the direction of turning words on paper, thoughts in your head, into the power of poetry.  Thank you so very much for sharing your work with me, Susan