Poetry Talk

Good Morning from Connecticut, USA. You have made wonderful progress with your poem. You have tightened it, and addressed most of the issues with English grammar. I might add, poetry is often forgiving when we take language and twist it about a bit. And so, some moments in your poem work really well. I particularly like your first stanza but wonder if you meant to say –

With nothing to impress
WITH NO ONE TO IMPRESS
Just his sheer innocence
WITH HIS SHEER INNOCENCE

I truly like your ending – the "confession" if you will that this journey you've taken us on, this "friend" you introduce us to in your poem, is the boy's imagination. Lovely. Rather than go over the poem here, may I suggest you read some of the lessons here on my website. I talk about imagery, rhyme, poetic techniques, and editing. Your poem has come a long way and deserves the attention to detail I think would make it a truly meaningful poem. Please let me see your next version of it and perhaps, I will be able to feature it as my "Poem of the Week" after you've been able to declare it "finished." Keep on writing and believing in yourself. I do think you have talent. Write on, Susan