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November 4, 2021 at 3:48 pm
#18675
Keymaster
Very romantic poem. I am a bit confused by the line “My love who calls you thy…” is it “thine” or “mine” – thy, I don’t think is quite the right word. However, having said that, I can feel your emotion and genuine commitment to making us, the reader, feel something and be involved in the story you are telling. Another suggestion – don’t worry so much about the rhyme – poetry should be more dependent on imagery than a rhyme at the end of each line. Thank you very much for submitting your poem. I will consider it for Featured Poem of the Month for December. Your friend in poetry, Susan

