Poetry Talk

Thanks so much for sending another poem.  You are a very prolific writer, it would seem.  I very much like the tone and theme of your poem. And, I love your opening line – “I am an unspoken spirit…”  What your poem suffers from, is a series of grammatical errors and misused words.  Here are a couple of examples:

“When you relinquish my soul without flings!”  This really doesn’t translate into English very well.  In fact, I cannot determine the meaning of the line.  What is the line supposed to mean?

And here are some more lines that simply do not “mean” anything I can grasp hold of, in English: 

In argle bargle like an war!

My worth comes like a spring

About the fruitful discussion in tons,

But, this is very nice – using alliteration and, it has meaning: “Waltzing in awakening wonders!”

I can only imagine how hard it is to write in a second language – hard enough to write poetry in your first language.  You are persistent, and talented, and dedicated, so I know you will eventually get to where you want to go, as a poet.

Your friend in poetry, Susan