Poetry Talk

Thank you so much, Dreamer, for sending me your poem “The Silent Night.”  It is certainly dark and very dramatic and you have some lovely visual images that run throughout the poem.  Lines like:

“Cold were the nights as they crept out of the cemeteries

in broken words, in shattered promises, in soulless echoes.”

and

“The rust on

the birthday knife shined darker in the quaintness of the night. (this should be “shone’ not “shined”)

And out to the winds did the dandelions fly. Catching fireflies,

hoping to light the path to her lonely cascade….”

If I were to suggest something to you, it would be – less is more in poetry – in other words, if you can say something in fewer words, using imagery (metaphor and simile) you are creating a poem that takes the reader to the destination you have in mind, more effectively.  If prose is an open hand, then poetry is a closed fist – it’s tight and it speaks eloquently in as few words as possible. One other thing – let the poem flow freely by limiting or, eliminating, punctuation.  Many contemporary poets have decided to use line breaks and spaces, instead of punctuation.  I do, in many of my poems. Having said all that, I would also say, your poem is filled with fine moments and sets the mood beautifully – dark and sad and lonely.  I would truly like to see it again, if you are interested in doing some editing.  And again, thank you so much for sharing your poetry with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan