Poetry Talk

Good afternoon, Comfort.  There is certainly power and purpose in this poem.  Some great lines and some fine moments – for example:  “you’ve become nothing to everyone and everything to everyone…”  “

your mind has become a theatre,

death upon death, prewritten, you, your own executioner,”

I won’t make any particular suggestions except to say – “less is more” in poetry.  In other words, if you can say something in three words, don’t use five.  Try to find the most compact and powerful way of saying what you want us to know, to feel -using imagery (metaphor and simile) using alliteration, enjambment, hyperbole, rhyme and rhythm will help “translate” your poem into a tighter, more impactful poem.  There is power is your poetic voice – now, if you work on technique, you will have one very fine poem.  Thank you again, for sharing your work with me.  Have a lovely weekend, Susan