Poetry Talk

Good morning and thank you for sharing your poem with me.  What I think is:  It is filled with emotions – struggling to understand themselves – it is filled with a kind of emotional awe at discovering how intensely one can feel – it is filled with some very fine lines:

dreaming whilst living,  (dreaming while living)

the potential of a cold cup of coffee (I would leave off
the potential of” and just go with “a cold cup of coffee” – in poetry it is always better to give the reader a chance to interpret what you’re saying/feeling – rather than telling them)

waking up warm in the sunlight  (I very much like this – becoming the sunlight – not sure about becoming the cup of coffee)

(in which you are the sun,…)

Emotions are messy, especially when they are in control – which it sounds like they are from the tone and intensity of the poem.  I think with a little work, editing, you will have a fine poem that expresses some very relatable emotions.  Again, thank you so much for sharing with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan