Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Harvesting Happiness

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>I notice this is the second poem you've submitted and I noticed something else, as well – you have a recognizable voice.  There is a cadence to your poems, the way you arrange the words, that is consistent and resonates with the reader.</p>
<p>Again, as with your other submitted poem, this poem would benefit from some word "cutting."  Example:  Words like "yet" "and" – "When have you last soared/ seen the sun rise/ dreamed of sunflower fields…"</p>
<p>I very much like your work – I find it meaningful and purposeful and relatable.  I think this poem needs only the poet's scalpel – a bit of trimming – a bit of editing, here and there, maybe a change of tense in one spot or another, to make it something really very special.</p>
<p>Thank you for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>

https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/harvesting-happiness

Original Post by A.Zaman

Harvesting Happiness

<p><u>Harvesting  Happiness </u></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Look inside—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pockets of your heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You have a seed of grief,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A  seed of sadness</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its Minute — yet heavy on your heart</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                        It’s restrained your wings,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When have you last soared</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                            >And seen the sun rise ,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Have you been dreaming,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                                   of sunflower fields.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And doves of hope against blue skies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When will you draw</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                 the curtains of the night’s sky ?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And see the stars,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>   that’s waiting to guide you back home  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your heart wants to empty,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                          It’s seeds of sadness</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So bury it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And when eyes puff up like clouds,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Water it in the rain of your tears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your hearts yearning,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a tree, to bear fruits of happiness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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