Reply To: Take your part of love

[Susan Katz]

Very nicely done.  A strong image that works throughout and I do like your title.  I do think your poem would benefit from tightening – removing unnecessary words, for example:  Do you need (a new) fire – words like “now” and “and” are standing in the way of the flow of the poem – and check your tenses – many of them are grammatically incorrect.  Sorry to be so critical – I only do so when I feel there is really possibility and talent.  I would invite you to rewrite your poem – rethink it in terms of rhythm and also fool around a bit with where you end your lines – that sometimes makes a huge difference in the way we read your poem – and thus, what we get out of your poem.  Truly, well done – love to see it again, after editing.  Your friend in poetry, Susan