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August 17, 2021 at 9:17 am
#18642
Keymaster
Thank you so much for submitting this lovely, lyrical poem. I love “poised with pearls of wisdom” – it flows with such grace and uses a very nice balance of alliteration. I’m a bit confused by “melancholy to exist” and wonder if there is an image for that or a clearer way to say exactly what you want us to know. She is sad? She is contemplative? Is there an image that could make us feel what “her eyes couldn’t hide?” I think you have a very good understanding of the essence of poetry and, if you decide to do a bit of editing, I’d love to see the next version of your poem. Your friend in poetry, Susan

