Reply To: ——-

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing your poem.  I love your opening – “

Busy bee

Do you hear the ferocious sun?”

“hearing” the sun is a lovely concept.

If I were to make some editing suggestions, they would be to go through your poem and make sure your lines are all grammatically correct and that every word you use in the poem, is needed.  In poetry, less is more.  Also, while I’m sure the meaning is perfectly clear to you, I am finding it difficult to comprehend the true meaning of the poem.  I think you have everything you need to craft a powerful and meaningful poem, it just needs some editing.  I would be delighted to read it again, if you would like to resubmit after you’ve had time to work on it.

Your friend in poetry, Susan