Reply To: My life changing decision.

[Susan Katz]

Thank you very much for sharing your work with me.  I very much like your theme – the uncertainty of the paths we will take, where our future may lead us, who we are and who we will become.  What I need here, to make this poetry and not prose, is more attention to poetic techniques.  For example:

 

An astonishing decision could open up a new beginning,  “Like lightning striking /  illuminating new beginnings”

Also could create an unexpected moment in singing,  “creating the song my heart’s been singing.”

We need, throughout the piece, the elements that will transform your “story” into poetry; metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, rhythm, rhyme…

Please feel free to share again, after you’ve had a chance to work on it.

Your friend in poetry, Susan