New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Thank you for submitting your emotional and well written poem. I'm afraid today has been a bit hectic and I don't want to give you just a quick response so, I will go over your poem tomorrow, in depth, and offer some suggestions. You have some lovely lines and you have the emotional soul of a poet – that is both felt and understood.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your work with me and, thank you for your patience, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/dawn-2
Original Post by Being_oasis
Dawn
<p>Watch the sun, as it bows</p>
<p>Fades into the evening gleam</p>
<p>Sky screams a voice so loud</p>
<p>Soul throbs to its every beat</p>
<p>To some it is a mystic state</p>
<p>To some a confusing prose</p>
<p>I do not know what it is to me </p>
<p>Maybe one or maybe both</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dead words mine make no sense</p>
<p>Penning voices of my head</p>
<p>Reminiscing those times bygone</p>
<p>Come close, lend your soul</p>
<p>Hear me tell feelings mine</p>
<p>Before whispers vanish, and death arrives</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Heart that kept all secrets safe</p>
<p>Is in throbbing pain cannot inhale</p>
<p>All it craves is to shout so loud</p>
<p>Unstring unhook disclose reveal</p>
<p>What it hid from people known</p>
<p>Yet the mind does not budge</p>
<p>Does not fall for its sly traps</p>
<p>All i beg is escape</p>
<p>From constant battles of mind and heart</p>
<p> </p>
<p>O' you the friend who could just see</p>
<p>Things i showed not to the bees</p>
<p>Even though i tried to keep </p>
<p>Worries that would otherwise peep</p>
<p>But that simply gorgeous slip </p>
<p>Did let you know my secret scars </p>
<p>Did let you know that teary part </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ever since you left for the open road</p>
<p>To be a big man in the mortal dorm</p>
<p>To carve your name in the wild storm</p>
<p>I know you cry and i do too</p>
<p>Treacherous world parted us in two</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh so far we've come along </p>
<p>Distances between us have so much grown</p>
<p>Good heaven hold us close </p>
<p>Let my tear drops fuel you more</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I still ponder about those cute days</p>
<p>My stupid jokes and your laughing face</p>
<p>Hours of talk and those summer race</p>
<p>How i would beat you at every game</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now i sit with memories frail</p>
<p>Traveller of this desolate mze</p>
<p>Battles inside grows so loud</p>
<p>Save me from this fire wild</p>
<p>Mute i am, only teary smiles</p>
<p>Mute i am, only teary smiles</p>