New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Thank you for sharing your poem with me. There is a lot that works here and some very fine moments as you move through the poem. I particularly like:</p>
<p><em>A grim face<br />A horror smile <br />The darkness swallows me whole <br />I have lost all control </em></p>
<p>My main suggestion would be to tighten the poem by eliminating unnecessary words. In poetry, less is more – for example: "A grim face</p>
<p>/ horror smile /darkness swallows me whole / I have lost control…"</p>
<p>You definitely have everything you need here for a very powerful poem. As with all writing, the fun part is writing – the hard part, is editing. Would love to see it again, if you choose to do some editing. Again, thank you so much for sharing with me. I love receiving new poems that enrich my day. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/lost
Original Post by NorwegianSoul
Lost
<p><em>I looked into the mirror <br />Darkness surrounded me <br />Speaking to me as if it wanted me to enter <br />Faces appearing <br />Smiling at me but not with kindness<br />Shadow hands stretching out of the glass<br />Grabbing me <br />Pulling me <br />Trying to take me into the mirror <br />My face no longer mine <br />A grim face<br />A horror smile <br />The darkness swallows me whole <br />I have lost all control <br />As they look into the mirror <br />No one knows <br />That I am lost inside a dark and deep hole <br />Seeing all the faces as they look <br />Smile an honest smile <br />I am in there all alone <br />For each smile <br />Wishing to die</em></p>