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I can feel the intensity of your poem, the emotion, and the desire to have the reader feel what you’re feeling but, I also feel that the desire to rhyme has taken away from the natural flow of words and lines into a more meaningful poetic experience. Poetry does not have to rhyme. It needs to invite us into the experience through the use of imagery (word pictures) line break, and other poetic devices that take the poem from words on paper, to emotions in her hearts, and pictures, so real, we can see them, hear them, feel them, smell them, and taste them. Do spend some time editing (as all poets must) your very self-aware, very important poem and I would be happy to have you submit it again. Your friend in poetry, Susan

