Poetry Talk

Taking a break, on a rainy/snowy Monday, and decided to check in with my website.  I found your very beautifully written poem waiting for me.  Your poem “strolls” through a series of intimate observations of self, of others, and of life in the process of being lived.  You have some strong and meaningful lines and they lead us through your, poet’s eye, appraisal of what you see – more importantly, what you feel.  If I may, I would like to suggest a couple of small things…  “smokes” should be smoke – not plural – / don’t know if you need “as we call it” as we know that because it is what you called it – / – “late night” should be “nights” because you have indicated by using “yesterday’s” that there is more than one night – / “;the city air is bristled with greyish dreams” is great!  “Greyish” should be spelled with an “a”. This crowd only dares to whisper” is also a great line.  “The sparrows are in search of food” don’t need the “the.”  “Cold breeze and chirpings “cut” not “cuts” the silence.”  Perhaps “you name necessity” rather than “calls.”

I am really impressed with this poem.  It shows me that you have the eye and the heart of a poet.  I would be happy to feature your poem, next week, in the Featured Poem of the Week section on my website.  I would be pleased if you would consider some of the suggestions I made – please let me know – but, either way, I would feature it, with your permission.  Your friend in poetry, Susan