Poetry Talk

You are definitely a prolific writer – and I love that.  It is who poets are and what they do – write poems.  I would like to suggest a few things – first, “renovated” and “sword” – beginning and ending of your image, do not work.  “Severed” works with sword, (cut, sliced, etc.) otherwise, you have a mixed metaphor that we cannot feel or understand. Are “swords” “intriguing?”  – Not sure – perhaps there is a better word here too.  Love “Waltz of words” but am troubled by “in rolls” as I don’t know what that means.

I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve become a bit more picky with my critique, but that’s because I believe you are serious about your writing and truly would like to help you lift your poems to a new level.

I appreciate your trusting me with your work.  Your friend in poetry, Susan