A tribute to Shakespeare!

[Tiny glowing star]

He who renovated,
The poem world,
With only intriguing sword,
Of provoking words and phrases,
He made up his symbol,
In the minds of souls,
Who were actually fascinated,
With his waltz of words in rolls!

– Swetha.

 

[Susan Katz]

You are definitely a prolific writer – and I love that.  It is who poets are and what they do – write poems.  I would like to suggest a few things – first, “renovated” and “sword” – beginning and ending of your image, do not work.  “Severed” works with sword, (cut, sliced, etc.) otherwise, you have a mixed metaphor that we cannot feel or understand. Are “swords” “intriguing?”  – Not sure – perhaps there is a better word here too.  Love “Waltz of words” but am troubled by “in rolls” as I don’t know what that means.

I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve become a bit more picky with my critique, but that’s because I believe you are serious about your writing and truly would like to help you lift your poems to a new level.

I appreciate your trusting me with your work.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Author]

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