Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Let us go (love poem)

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>Thank you so much for sharing your very light and lovely poem with me.  You have some strong moments in your poem however, there are some real issues with translation into English.  For example: You do not need the word "that" in your lines – the line works more accurately and more grammatically, without "that."  Also, I think the word you are looking for is "selfless" not "selfishless."  Just a couple of possible edits.  Your poem reflects a true understanding of the mission of poetry.  And I am delighted to have had a chance to read it.  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>

https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/let-us-go-love-poem

Original Post by thejassleenkaur

Let us go (love poem)

<p style="text-align: right;">In the dessert, parks and snow</p>
<p style="text-align: right;"> to spend time with each other </p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">let us go</span></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span>.. <em>let us go</em> for a journey without knowing that how adventurous it is ..</p>
<p style="text-align: right;">.. <em>let us go</em> for a path without knowing that where the path is going. . </p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><em>let us go </em>to enjoy the moment without knowing that how memorable it is .</p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><em>let us go </em>for the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">love </span>without caring that how far we are<em>..</em></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><em>let us go to stand before the window without knowing that how beautiful the view is .. .. </em></p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><em>let us go</em> for the universe… where <span style="text-decoration: underline;">selfishless ,lovely, affectionate and caring people are there . .. … .. .. .. </span></p>