New comment from Susan Katz
Hi Comfort – thanks for sending again – and let me assure you, I will, this time, make some suggestions that I think will elevate your work into the realm of real, honest, heartfelt, and powerful poetry. I am in the midst of some other things at the moment but please know, I will be back in touch within the next 24 hours with my editing suggestions. Your work has really touched me!
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/no-title-2
Original Post by Comfort
no title
<p>… and so, they asked.</p>
<p>And such like a flower blooming, I opened and showed them my truth,</p>
<p>I become a glass house, parts of me hanged, windows shattered with stains of blood that served as a warning not to seek to see yourself in the reflection of I, for I am shattered.</p>
<p>Tears fell for the first time that wasn’t from the wiping of the belts or from a fist that was meant to be a hand that cradles me,</p>
<p>And as my lips sealed,</p>
<p>The silence echoed, and in that moment… in that moment I’d hoped home wouldn’t just shelter my body but maybe it might shelter my heart too.</p>
<p>‘’disappointment”</p>
<p>“Disrespectful”</p>
<p>“ungrateful”</p>
<p>how I wish my lips had never spoken, had never opened, had never shown a part of me that needs your understanding, do you understand how I…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for my disrespect, please forgive me”</p>
comment made on…
<p>This is an incredibly powerful and emotionally compelling piece of writing. I hesitate to make any suggestions, edits that would bring it more into the realm of poetry, as that may not be your intention. Let me just say, it moved me, it touched me, and you have managed to convey your feelings and your "experiences" in a very meaningful way. Let me know if you are interested in editing suggestions and, thank you so much for sharing your work with me, Susan</p>