New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Hi Sarah, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your beautiful, well-written, emotionally meaningful poem. We have been experiencing technical difficulties and the site would not let me respond – but, here I am – thanks to my genius tech guy – he found me away around the problem, for the moment. I have only some small suggestions -</p>
<p>I love you the way you might not love me (you might want to use line break to your advantage here, and break the line after "might" and then, consider using "ever"loved me or, "be able" to love me – and then, I would end the poem with "blood" – "stilled" is a bit confusing.)</p>
<p>Since i wrote it in blood, stilled</p>
<p>This is a truly lovely poem, written with the heart and soul of a poet. Thank you so very much for sharing it with me. And again, my apologies in the delay of this response. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/11739
Original Post by Sarah01
–
<p>These are the vows</p>
<p>I took in silence</p>
<p>To love you the way you came to me</p>
<p>Reborn, the softest ray of sunshine</p>
<p>Presently unwavering</p>
<p> </p>
<p>These are the songs i sung</p>
<p>At the sight of Twilight</p>
<p>The stars unappreciated but twinkling</p>
<p>Days shift to night</p>
<p>Only the candle's light chastises us</p>
<p>Disregarded, the time spent hating</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I promise to love you in peace</p>
<p>And to sow an oath gradually</p>
<p>Teach the soul the ways of loving</p>
<p>In secrecy, in rebellion</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I love you with the knowledge of the dark</p>
<p>And that forever was doomed</p>
<p>Since the beginning</p>
<p>I love you the way you might not love me</p>
<p>Since i wrote it in blood, stilled</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~ Sarah Sodi</p>