Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to A walk by the seashore!

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>I am truly sorry for the delay in responding to you, but I have been dealing with a family emergency.</p>
<p>Your poem has a lovely, quiet message that takes us on a journey to the sea.  You have some delightful images, as well.  However, I would suggest that you not lean so heavily on rhyming.  Your rhymes (some of them very good) do tend to "take over" the poem and we cannot concentrate on the beauty of the scene and the feelings of making you feel like "a sea queen."  I want more of that – words that paint pictures, rhythm and emotion.  Rhyme has its place but should not control the mood and message of the poem.  Thank you so much for sharing your meaningful poem with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>


Original Post by Tiny glowing star

A walk by the seashore!

<p>The cool breeze,<br />Was only soothing,<br />Astonishingly it was not in seize,<br />It was quite a wonderful meeting,<br />Strolling over the land with my bare foot,<br />Without my expensive boots!</p>
<p>The whispering of the waves,<br />Was an enchanting semiquaver pitches,<br />Making my heart fly away with soothing flames,<br />There was even no critics like witches,<br />To banish me for no reason,<br />And summer was the amusing season!</p>
<p>The seashells were staring at me,<br />As I walked into the sea without any fee,<br />Oh yeah! It was a day without any hesitation,<br />Where my soul was a complete dedication!<br />What is that murmur sound that I hear?<br />It's the singing tale of star fishes without any tear!</p>
<p>The gold sun was already descending,<br />Waving me "goodbye" with his cringey rays,<br />He was quite amusing this evening,<br />For making me feel like a sea queen without any says!<br />I grabbed my boots leaving my heart behind,<br />To make a comeback again to my dukedom!</p>
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