New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Thank you for sharing. There are some lovely moments in your poem and an abundance of emotion. Please see suggestions below:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Engulfed in desires, (I would make it "desire" not desires – and get rid of the comma – you want it to flow – not bring us to a "stop")</p>
<p>Their love didn't reach me, (Love didn't reach me works better here "their" is confusing)</p>
<p>Yet I told those bitter words-frivolously, ("told" those bitter words – not sure what that means – perhaps "hold" those bitter words – then just leave a few spaces and go on to "frivolously")</p>
<p>A hopeless daughter I was! ( I would leave off "I was" and exclamation point – don't give us a reason to pause or stop)</p>
<p>Pain wouldn't go away, (better way of saying this? Pain was my constant companion – pain always by my side…)</p>
<p>Nor did I care to save my wandering heart! (Nice!)</p>
<p>Hope this helps a bit. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/hidden-scars
Original Post by Tiny glowing star
Hidden Scars.
<p>Engulfed in desires,</p>
<p>Their love didn't reach me,</p>
<p>Yet I told those bitter words-frivolously,</p>
<p>A hopeless daughter I was!</p>
<p>Pain wouldn't go away,</p>
<p>Nor did I care to save my wandering heart!</p>