Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to My Destiny

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>Hi Candice,  So nice to hear from you in the format of your very strong and meaningful poem.  I do have a number of suggestions – and they have to do with the concept in poetry that, less is more.  In other words, if you can say something in two words, don't use five.  A few examples – "Dreams within me/ hoping they come true"  "The reasons for my bliss/ the secret of all this…"  Just a few examples of how you could tighten your poem and by doing so, strengthen it – make it more powerful.  Prose is an open hand, poetry is a closed fist.  Thank you so much for sharing – please send again, when you have had a chance to work a bit on it.  I do so appreciate your interest in Poet Lady Katz.  You friend in poetry, Susan</p>


Original Post by Candice

My Destiny

<p>Dreams within me</p>
<p>Hoping to see it come true</p>
<p>The reason of my bliss</p>
<p>Yes, the secret is all of this</p>
<p>To fly so high flapping my wings</p>
<p>Into the deep sinking sea</p>
<p>I recall how I rose up</p>
<p>Amidst all the barriers</p>
<p>And trials immense.</p>
<p>All I wanted and ought to be,</p>
<p>Surprising it turned out to be.</p>
<p>Nothing but my destiny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The journey was too long</p>
<p>So, exhausting to carry along</p>
<p>My never-ending burdens</p>
<p>Dissatisfaction maybe</p>
<p>Each time I persevere</p>
<p>With dedication and sincerity.</p>
<p>I get to know it’s incomplete</p>
<p>And room for improvement.</p>
<p>All I needed is guidance</p>
<p>For what was right and just.</p>
<p>That’s the motivation</p>
<p>That carved my destiny.</p>