New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Hi Candice, So nice to hear from you in the format of your very strong and meaningful poem. I do have a number of suggestions – and they have to do with the concept in poetry that, less is more. In other words, if you can say something in two words, don't use five. A few examples – "Dreams within me/ hoping they come true" "The reasons for my bliss/ the secret of all this…" Just a few examples of how you could tighten your poem and by doing so, strengthen it – make it more powerful. Prose is an open hand, poetry is a closed fist. Thank you so much for sharing – please send again, when you have had a chance to work a bit on it. I do so appreciate your interest in Poet Lady Katz. You friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/my-destiny
Original Post by Candice
My Destiny
<p>Dreams within me</p>
<p>Hoping to see it come true</p>
<p>The reason of my bliss</p>
<p>Yes, the secret is all of this</p>
<p>To fly so high flapping my wings</p>
<p>Into the deep sinking sea</p>
<p>I recall how I rose up</p>
<p>Amidst all the barriers</p>
<p>And trials immense.</p>
<p>All I wanted and ought to be,</p>
<p>Surprising it turned out to be.</p>
<p>Nothing but my destiny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The journey was too long</p>
<p>So, exhausting to carry along</p>
<p>My never-ending burdens</p>
<p>Dissatisfaction maybe</p>
<p>Each time I persevere</p>
<p>With dedication and sincerity.</p>
<p>I get to know it’s incomplete</p>
<p>And room for improvement.</p>
<p>All I needed is guidance</p>
<p>For what was right and just.</p>
<p>That’s the motivation</p>
<p>That carved my destiny.</p>