New reply from Susan Katz
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<h2>no title</h2>
<p>PLEASE SEE MY COMMENTS BELOW – I DECIDED TO DO THEM RIGHT HERE.</p>
<p>… and so, they asked. (I would add … to let us know the thought goes on…)</p>
<p>And such like a flower blooming, I opened and showed them my truth, (I would remove "and such" – just go with "like a flower…"_</p>
<p>I become a glass house, parts of me hanged, windows shattered with stains of blood that served as a warning not to seek to see yourself in the reflection of I, for I am shattered. (It should be either (I have become or I became a glass house.. parts of my hung – you could remove "that served as: and just go to "a warning…")</p>
<p>Tears fell for the first time that wasn’t from the wiping of the belts or from a fist that was meant to be a hand that cradles me, (Is that supposed to be "whipping" of the belts? and I would remove "from" and just go to "a fist:)</p>
<p>And as my lips sealed,</p>
<p>The silence echoed, and in that moment… in that moment I’d hoped home wouldn’t just shelter my body but maybe it might shelter my heart too. (You don't need the "the" at the beginning of the line – the line could be tightened to read "silence echoed/line break/ in that moment/ in that moment I'd hope home would not just shelter/ my body but my heart too")</p>
<p>‘’disappointment” (disappointed?)</p>
<p>“Disrespectful” (disrespected?)</p>
<p>“ungrateful”</p>
<p>how I wish my lips had never spoken, had never opened, had never shown a part of me that needs your understanding, do you understand how I… ("had never shown 'that' part of me that needs your understanding… ) I am a little confused by where this ends – could you perhaps fill it out just a bit more?</p>
<p>This poem, as I said before, is powerful, emotional, and I am hoping just a poem, not a telling of your life. If it is a cry for help – please let me know. </p>
<p>You have talent and I am hoping to continue to work with you. I am hoping that when you have finished working on this poem, we can publish it on my site as Poem of the Week, at a future date.</p>
<p>Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
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https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/no-title-2
Original Post by Comfort
no title
<p>… and so, they asked.</p>
<p>And such like a flower blooming, I opened and showed them my truth,</p>
<p>I become a glass house, parts of me hanged, windows shattered with stains of blood that served as a warning not to seek to see yourself in the reflection of I, for I am shattered.</p>
<p>Tears fell for the first time that wasn’t from the wiping of the belts or from a fist that was meant to be a hand that cradles me,</p>
<p>And as my lips sealed,</p>
<p>The silence echoed, and in that moment… in that moment I’d hoped home wouldn’t just shelter my body but maybe it might shelter my heart too.</p>
<p>‘’disappointment”</p>
<p>“Disrespectful”</p>
<p>“ungrateful”</p>
<p>how I wish my lips had never spoken, had never opened, had never shown a part of me that needs your understanding, do you understand how I…</p>
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<p>“I’m sorry for my disrespect, please forgive me”</p>