New reply from Susan Katz
<p>You've tightened and heightened the intensity and the intent of the poem. I will definitely be featuring your poem in the very near future. Writing poetry is like planting a garden – the poem needs constant attention and "weeding" until it finally reaches its full potential. You made great strides and did some fine editing. I appreciate your trust in me and am delighted that you have shared your work. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A kind of insanity plagues me</p>
<p>It wrecks and remakes me</p>
<p>Similar to the earth in the drought of time, hoarding the sea</p>
<p>Like the parched, dried-up river awaiting thee</p>
<p>Clear as nature's unbiased pain, weaved without heed (in this context – "weaved" should be "woven")</p>
<p>Relief in the season's breath ploughed bitter-sweet</p>
<p>I anticipate a storm birthing a seed</p>
<p>For there on the transient horizon</p>
<p>Is a phantom on the ocean's breeze_ (I very much like this!)</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/realise-aya_pieceofme
Original Post by Aya_pieceofme
Realise- @aya_pieceofme
<p style="text-align: center;">A kind of insanity plagues me</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">It wrecks and remakes me</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Similar to the earth in the drought of time, hoarding the sea</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Like the parched, dried-up river awaiting thee</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Clear as nature's unbiased pain, weaved without heed</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Relief in the season's breath ploughed bitter-sweet</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">I anticipate a storm birthing a seed</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">For there on the transient horizon</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Is a phantom on the ocean's breeze_</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>