Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to The Red Saree ; Name: Yukta Hindurao Rane

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>What a very lovely story you tell in this delicate and visual poem.  I like the way you bring in your rhyme, not too heavy-handed.  Your ending, as well, has such a lovely nostalgic feel to it.  From a pure poetry point of view, I believe the poem would benefit from more showing ("imagery – metaphor and simile") and less "telling" – but, overall, you speak clearly and tell a truly engaging story.  There are many very poetic moments as well.  Thank you so much for sharing your poem with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>


Original Post by Yukta Hindurao Rane

The Red Saree ; Name: Yukta Hindurao Rane

<p>The glow of turmeric on her body,<br />Bathed with the whiteness of the milk,<br />She shines brighter than her yellow saree,<br />With the blush on her face slowly turning pink.</p>
<p>With the heena being pestled on the stone,<br />It's colour and purity spreads deep in her skin,<br />The depth of colour depends on their<br />Love enclosed in heart within!</p>
<p>She finally gets dressed in the shiny red saree,<br />The long sets and the long earrings she puts on,<br />With the red bangles, red bindi and diamond anklets,<br />Enters the marriage hall floored entirely in red carpet!</p>
<p>She walks with him the seven rounds,<br />She takes with him the seven vows,<br />Holding her hand and tied by the knot,<br />Finally puts the vermillion on her forehead with his love!</p>
<p>He ties the thread of black beads around her neck,<br />She dips her feet in the red water,<br />Stepping in the new home with him and looking behind,<br />To see her parents leaving their only daughter.</p>