Reply To: RELATIONSHIP WITH NATURE – ABHI SHARMA

[Susan Katz]

I am a nature lover myself and have spent many a day embraced by the power and beauty of blue lakes, blue skies filled with puffy white clouds, and mountains looming in the distance.  I like, very much, where your poem takes us, I just wonder if it could take us there without rhyming every line.  I think it detracts from the picture you are trying to create.  In nature things are often haphazard, boulders fall and clouds turn dark.  I think you poem needs to sound and feel more “natural” and that would happen, I believe, if you weren’t so insistent upon rhyming the end of every line.  I am particularly worried about the last two lines as I feel you really “reached” for that rhyme.  Just a thought I thought I’d pass along to you,  I thank you very much for sharing your work with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan