I am a nature lover myself and have spent many a day embraced by the power and beauty of blue lakes, blue skies filled with puffy white clouds, and mountains looming in the distance. I like, very much, where your poem takes us, I just wonder if it could take us there without rhyming every line. I think it detracts from the picture you are trying to create. In nature things are often haphazard, boulders fall and clouds turn dark. I think you poem needs to sound and feel more “natural” and that would happen, I believe, if you weren’t so insistent upon rhyming the end of every line. I am particularly worried about the last two lines as I feel you really “reached” for that rhyme. Just a thought I thought I’d pass along to you, I thank you very much for sharing your work with me. Your friend in poetry, Susan
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