Reply To: Pitch Black

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing this very dark and very intricate poem with me.  I do love many of your lines and the way the poem takes us, with you, on a journey. “My heart couldn’t bear the thirst anymore” is, for example, a great line!  I do think the poem wanders a bit, taking us places that confuse us.  In other words, as with all poetry, I believe your poem would benefit from editing – finding where the poem, the message, lives and bringing that home to us without adding anything that is unnecessary to that theme.  You have talent and are a good story teller, as well.  I would be happy to see this poem again, after you’ve had a chance to revisit it and revise it, with the eye and the heart of the poet.  Your friend in poetry, Susan