Reply To: My Destiny

[Susan Katz]

You’ve made some great changes.  One thing I would suggest is that you “tell” us less and make us “feel” more by using imagery. For example:  ‘So exhausting to carry along/my never-ending burdens…”  This could become an image – “my burdens/ a sack of rocks/ heavy on my shoulders…”  You have some wonderful and meaningful lines and your message is clear – just try to see where you could use a powerful metaphor or simile.  I encourage you to keep working on your poem as I think it has great potential.  I congratulate you on the progress you’ve made and look forward to seeing more of this poem, and other work, in the future.  Your friend in poetry,

Susan