Reply To: The silent screams..

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing your very powerful poem – filled with energy and an intensity that one can feel.  If I were to suggest something, it would be to use more “poetic” tools in your poem – such as, metaphor, simile, alliteration, rhyme, and onomatopoeia.  For example:

To stand in a room of faceless screams, ( I would take out the punctuation so the lines flow together – as in thought – we don’t punctuate our thoughts.)

To reach out for hands with no fingers, (you could be more concise – in poetry, less is more, “reaching with blunt hands…”)

To cry out to these soulless veiled figures. (“my voice a soundless echo…”)

And I keep trying to run, run away, but why (“running without moving – nothing there – chained to air”)

are my legs chained? Chained to nothing…..

Don’t tell us what you want us to know – show us, make us feel it through images we can relate to.  I would be happy to see this again after some editing, if you are inclined to resend it. 

Thank you so very much for your interest in https://www.poetladykatz.com   Your friend in poetry, Susan