Home Forums Poetry Talk Death of Piety

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  • #17811
    Being_oasis
    Participant

    I am All broken from inside,
    With the ring of pain constricting,
    Finding no place to seek and hide,
    From all of the shortcomings.

    The world has become a pit of fire,
    With its evil smoke polluting my soul.
    With the heat of its lies burning my heart.
    With its impure beauty dazzling my eyes.
    With its changing colors deceiving my mind.
    All of its roads have been fogged with the smoke,
    Blurring up my vision,
    Locking me up, with no place to seek and hide.

    With demonic acts flourishing in open and in close,
    Murdering righteousness in every soul.
    Now it is upon us to decide,
    Whether the Phoenix will rise from its ashes,
    Or will it be blown off by the smoke.

    Even though the demon’s rise,
    There is something in me that tells,
    Have Faith, Have Faith,
    The best of the planners is on our side.
    :-Mohammad Owais (Student)
    St. Francis’ College.

    #18435
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Once again, I very much enjoyed reading your poem.  There is passion and purpose in your lines and many of them give us a “visual” view of the pictures you are trying to paint with words. I would suggest that you think of words in a poem as very precious and only use those that are absolutely necessary to the rhythmic and intellectual journey you want to take the reader on.  In poetry, less is more!  I do appreciate you sharing your work with me, Susan

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