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  • #18041
    suchitralata
    Participant

    The first blush of love

    rosy shy doe eyed

    trembling drop

    at the edge of tender leaves

    rainbow flighted

    sun delighted

     

    Deeper on to whispered

    rush of unheard songs

    tremolo of quiet delight

    sweet coffee mornings

    Sad happy swings

     

    No bitter berry to

    crush your taste of this

    sky line of joy this

    true wine from above

    scatter the worry to those stars

    shimmering late with jeweled tears

     

    Close your eyes

    dream love.

     

    12 Feb, 2022

    #18729
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Good Morning from here in Connecticut, Suchitra.  You have done it again.  Such a lovely, melodic poem.  Your first stanza sets the tone and we are immediately engaged, and delighted to go on this beautiful journey – love, through your eyes.  I do have one suggestion, as it was the only moment in the poem I stumbled a bit –

    No bitter berry to

    crush your taste of this

    sky line of joy this

    true wine from above

    I think the stanza would flow more rhythmically if you removed one of the “this.”  Example:  “No bitter berry to/ crush your taste/sky line of joy this/…”  Or, “No bitter berry to/crush your taste of this/sky line of joy/ true wine…”

    Your poem is truly delightful – filled with a gentle – tempting view of love – with the wonderful advice:

    “scatter the worry to those stars

    shimmering late with jeweled tears” 

    I will definitely be featuring your poem for our February love theme.  Probably next week. Thank you Suchitra.  I hope life is treating you well and that you’re busy pursuing all of your many creative inclinations. 

    Your friend in poetry, Susan

    #18730
    suchitralata
    Participant

    Dear Susan , thanks for your inspiration, I enjoy writing again. And am so glad to have my poem featured again on your website. Hope it brings a sense of engagement and happiness to all who read it! Will mail you the poem with the edits. Thanks for your insight! Yes, am busy and engaged 🙂 Much affection to you!

    #18731
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Wonderful. You can resubmit here or, email it to me. It is a lovely way to celebrate the concept of Valentine's Day – and love. In Warm Friendship, Susan

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